Editor Reviews

Theft Wars is like someone mashed together an open-world sandbox with the randomness of internet memes and came out with a game that doesn't take itself seriously. You play as Jack, an average guy in a sunny city full of people, cars, and nonsense. There's no grand mission or storyline you're tied into. You just get dropped into the world and can do whatever you want—drive around, cause chaos, dance in the middle of traffic, or go bowling. It doesn't try to be polished or deep. That's kind of the point.

The graphics resemble those found somewhere between Minecraft and a cartoon from the early 2000s. Everything's blocky, bright, and exaggerated. People walk funny. Cars drive weirder. There's no realism here. It's all about having fun in the dumbest way possible. Want to slap a random person with a fish? You can. Want to shoot basketballs from the top of a car? Go ahead. There's a charm to the goofiness of it all.

The controls are decent. On mobile, you've got the usual joystick setup. It's not smooth, but it works well enough for what the game expects of you. There's a menu where you can buy weapons, cars, and more by walking into random shops or pulling out your in-game phone. It would be a silly version of GTA if it had no storyline, fewer rules, and everyone had rubber limbs.

There's a lot of humor baked into how the game behaves. The ragdoll physics can get ridiculous. One punch sends someone flying like a balloon. Hit a curb at the wrong angle, and your car flips five times before landing upside down. It's buggy in a way that makes you laugh more than get frustrated.

What stands out is how much the game lets you do without holding your hand. You don't need to follow any rules; that freedom makes it easy to come back and mess around. There are small discoveries tucked away that you might miss unless you go exploring, which keeps the map fresh even without missions.

How to Play?

Step 1: Open the game and tap "Play" from the main menu. Select "Offline Mode" to jump straight into the action without waiting for a connection. Pick your character—each one comes with slightly different styles, but gameplay stays the same.

Step 2: Use the on-screen joystick on the left to walk and look around using the right side of the screen. To run, double-tap the joystick. Press the button located near the bottom right. The buttons are simple, so you'll get used to them fast.

Step 3: Explore the city. Houses, shops, streets, and random objects are all interactive. You can grab vehicles by walking up to them and tapping the car icon. Drive using the on-screen pedals and steering arrows. Crashing won’t end the game—it's all part of the chaos.

Step 4: Open your phone from the top-left corner of the screen. Use it to purchase weapons, spawn vehicles, or call in reinforcements. This is where most of the fun tools come from. Just tap around and experiment.

Step 5: Press the map icon to locate places such as the gun shop, airport, or police station. Missions aren't required, but they add direction if you're up for it. Just walk to a location with a glowing icon and follow the instructions.

Step 6: Save your progress manually through the pause menu. Offline mode doesn't auto-save as frequently, so saving periodically is helpful if the game closes suddenly.